Twilight of Accomplishment

I have a commission to do. I have a book to finish. I have school to attend to. These thoughts and many more are tumbling around in my mind like wet clothes in a drier. I am more than halfway through the day and I’ve done very little with it. Well, if relaxing counts, then I’ve relaxed quite a bit today, “quite a bit” being four hours. Which isn’t necessarily bad, just, I have things to do. That is, I’ve attended to a lot of things, just now what I’m eager to; namely book business. First, though, commissions.

It’s a medium sized picture of the Eiffel Tower with a nice sky-scape in the background. I’ve budgeted five hours for the project. You can bet your sweet bippy I’ll probably be spending 8 or 9 getting things just right. Nothing over the top or particularly demanding. Just, you know, business stuff.

Overall the commission will be tame and boring, a process I’ve been through many times. Each time, I do arise to the occasion just fine. Not without a fair share of griping, though. When I do take on commissions, it’s never about the artistic challenge, it’s always to make sure I can do it. You know, produce a quality product, meet deadlines, and make the customer happy. It’s me practicing being a business man. Next a picture of kissing . . . I don’t know why, she just collects kissing things. Be prepared for that in future complain-posts.

The book is good. I am proud of what I have. I am nervous from time to time on how it’ll be received, overall I stand by my work. The delay, if there is one, is in my perfectionistic shenanigans. I could and should just release it but, no, we have to have all that junk with publishers, distributors, and registry just right. And that’s the hold up now, waiting patiently for all things to be just right . . . When I’m bored of all the other junk you’ll catch me picking at things on the book. I pretend it’s somehow endearing to onlookers.

This perpetual twilight of accomplishment is wearing on me, though. I am fatigued. It’s finished and ready for launch. I can’t help but wonder if I’m working hard enough. If I’m not slacking off too much. Truth be told, I’m not. I work plenty hard and feel a terrible guilt when I relax. I need to relax. Otherwise a good many aspects of life turn sour. Patience and calm will prevail. Cater to basic needs and take it all one day at a time. I’m a smart dude, I’ll land on my feet.

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