Towards Something

Lord knows what to write here. I’ve had ideas swimming in my head for twenty four hours now and as soon as I sit to write, blank.

I think of advertising now and again. I wonder if I should do more and, if so, how much more. I look at people who go to my pages. A small handful. And I ponder about how I’ve over saturated them with my antics and not done enough to bring in fresh blood. I wring my hands over getting new shows and where to show. Costs and hassles and fretting. Then I remind myself to calm down; work on the damned book.

I bring up the advertising bit and I grumble about it so for a reason. I got a rejection letter in the mail today from the Nevada Museum of Art. “Thanks, but no thanks.” is what they tell me. I tossed it on the pile along with the rest. I was feeling good about landing a show there. Not feeling so good about it now. I am disappointed. There’s a part of me speculating over the “Why?” I don’t have an answer. And when I don’t have an answer, my over fertile imagination conjures up one for me. Sometimes several.

So, in any case, long sigh, reset myself, trudge on.

Time has been wee. That is to say, my free time has been very little. Not to bitch, mind you, because my money situation is looking better. At least until school starts. Then things’ll return to normal and I’ll return to my impoverished ways. Only difference is: I’ll work towards a degree. Towards a better wage. I’m reluctant to say, “A better life” but I think we both know it will be.

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