Where yesterday I felt week fatigue, today I feel week weary. My spirits are good. I’m fully prepared to work and work honestly. However, if you offered me a pint, a video game, and the day off, I’d accept without hesitation. Maybe even with a little celebration.
There are times where I have my doubts that I will ever earn a buck from art. To be able to create without the burden of survival would be liberating. I look forward to the day. In the mean time; I labor to survive and create. Keeping a balance; where I don’t compromise too much on one at the expense of the other.
When I think about it, it’s not really the buck I’m after. The notoriety is my true aim. I have this weird notion that I want to contribute to society, I want to contribute in a positive way, and that art is the best vehicle. I concern myself with whether or not I am capable of any single one, let alone all three. Still, I work towards it.
Taking this winding road through my thought process to get to my point. The thought I’ve been entertaining is: Should I just make my books free? Odding, More Different, the whole shebang. When I say “free” I mean a digital copy. You know, something for the Kindle’s and iPads of the world to consume. A traditional book will still have the printing cost behind it.
I have trouble deciphering if it’s a good move or a self destructive one. Like I’ve mentioned in the past, the larger goal would be to have a self sustaining engine. Money would come in, art would go out. I don’t need or want a whole lot of money to make it go, just enough where I don’t have to be bothered by it. That ideal aside, making it a reality is a tough nut to crack.
I will try to spare y’all the grueling details behind my hand wringing on the subject. Shortest answer I can attempt is: I’m trying to build an audience. Upon that audience, I might be so lucky as to build a career.
Really, I don’t know. At least, not now. Not yet. I’m also working towards school in an effort to hedging my bets . . .
. . .The time to leave for work draws nigh. Less thinkin’ more doin’.