Down

I didn’t post a post yesterday. If you stopped by to read, I apologize for the inconvenience. We were having technical difficulties with our poster.

Kinda true. Very loosely though. Problem was: I was too caught up in video games and wasting the day to be bothered with responsibilities. Towards the end, I was too self loathing and burnt to do anything. I don’t know if you can tell or not but some of that residue is with me this morning.

I have good intentions. One of these days I’ll actually make good on those intentions. I confess, with precedent and me being who I am, I have my reservations.

I enjoy that I have the talents that I have. I do. Although it becomes a case of, “What do I do with them?” so long as my vices trip me like they do. I can make a mean painting, but I have problems sharing it. I took the time to learn how to write a verse or two of poetry, I feel inadequate in my execution.I’m a kinda and loving person, who is socially awkward and manipulative. . . . We’ll stop that list there before I really get revved up. Long story short; I have trouble getting it all to work.

I’m not coming into this a whine hound. Or if I am, I don’t feel particularly down this morning. What I am writing here I am feeling pretty matter-of-fact about. If you go back in tie, I’m willing to wager they are the same sentiments I’ve always had. Only difference, I was more cruel to myself. I wouldn’t be surprised, and a bit dismayed, if I stayed in this mode for the remainder of my adult life . . . This is just who I am, isn’t it?

 

 

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