Sputtering

alright, I’ll post something here. It’s gonna be quick though.

This here is the tail end of my work day. I’m am due for bed in about an hour. It’s been a horrendous day. I’ve been tempermental and even snapped at a few people today. A coworker in front of a lot of other coworkers. I treated my patients well, I always treat them well. I’m not sure I should be embarassed or not. I could also tell I was on edge on the drive home when I wanted to throw a fit at every red light I hit . . .

If I am feeling this way tomorrow, I will be calling in lest I lost my temper and ruin a lot of what is going right for me.

Oddly enough, they offered me forty hours back. With no hesitation I said, “yes”. Why? Especially given my abundance of free time was to be a boon to my art career. This last week has demonstrated to me that if I let things go I will waste that free time and not at all use it responsibly. Video games, pizza, and beer; god damn it. I already don’t earn what I think I’m worth, I don’t need to add fuel to my burning insecurities.

I’m not advertising this post. Had I my way I wouldn’t let a one of you read it. It’s full of vitriol and hostility. Traits I don’t care for and don’t want to share. If you should stumble upon this post anyhow, please don’t think too harshly of me.

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