Deflated

Two days and no posts. I’m not proud of that. I’ll be a little more earnest in getting in here regularly and posting a little something. Even if that little something is of no value.

Speaking of “no value” I’ll tell you about my weekend. I did nothing but play video games. I accomplished a couple things. I want grocery shopping, I drank a bottle of wine on Saturday, I half way cleaned the house, nothing remarkable there. No art, no looking for shows, no writing blog posts.

Alright, let’s throw this out there so there’s no questions. I have my bouts with depression. I’m nigh certain I’m having one now. My heart isn’t into anything and my priorities revolve around wasting time in the least painful way manageable. I’m doing, or will be doing things to attempt to manage losses. Eating right, I’ve been great about that; wine on Saturday aside, no more drinking; show up, for work and here . . .

Here’s the important part to whomever reads this stuff: I’m not looking to queue up the pity party. I’m not laying this problem at your feet for you to fix. I’m embarassed enough as is, frustrated, too. I’m divulging this information so that when it happens, like now, you don’t have to worry. It’s expected. It no fun for either of us, it’s also no surprise. Eventually, it’ll break and I’ll feel and do better.

I’ll do my best to ride it out responsibly. I will make an effort to get some art done. And I will stop there lest I say, “Eff it” to all the obligations I heap on myself.

2 thoughts on “Deflated

  1. Rachael

    You are hard on yourself. The best of us battle with depression. It happens. 🙂 Take care of yourself. take a break. Do you what you need to do. One day at a time. That is all we can do. (yes I am a mom..haha can you tell..hehe sorry..stopping now)

    Like

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